The Three Types of Twins
Together or Separated? How to Help Multiples Reach Their Potential
Oct 20, 2009
Pat Preedy, Ph.D., is a Canadian educational research consultant for the Twin and Multiple Birth Society and is Chairman of the Council of Multiple Births. David Hay is an Australian professor and researcher on twins and multiples. Together, they created a Web site for parents and educators of multiples – Two, Four, Six, Eight: Educating Twins, Triplets and More.
In their work together, the researchers identified three primary categories of multiples – Extreme Individuals, Mature Dependents, and Closely Coupled Multiples. They assert that parents and educators should consider where the children fall within these three categories as they decide how the children will be raised and how they will be handled in the school setting. The decision of whether or not to separate the children in classroom placement should also be made with these categories in mind.
The Extreme Individual
These children are extremely competitive and prefers to distance themselves from their co-multiples. They often display extreme behavior, one minute being calm and compliant, and the next moment, off-the-wall and disrespectful. They don't like their siblings much, and play by themselves. They have their own group of friends and are reluctant to share their friends with their co-multiples, and they refuse to dress alike. The Extreme Individual twin does his best to dominate the interaction with his co-multiple, and if he doesn't, he will simply withdraw.
The Mature Dependent
The co-multiples who fall into the Mature Dependent category, according to Preedy and Hay, are happy in situations where they are together or apart. They support each other and have been successful in creating their own identity, independent of their sibling. They have shared friends as well as friends that are their own; similarly, they have interests that they share with their co-multiple, and interests that are unique to them.
The Closely-Coupled Multiple
These children do not like to be separated; in fact, when they're separated, they're unhappy, according to Preedy and Hay. They have very few of their own friends, preferring instead to share the same social groups, and they like to dress and behave identically. These children are often unable to recognize their own image in a mirror, and see themselves as a combined unit rather than as an individual. They like to be called by a group name, i.e., "The Twins," and they seem to use a language of their own that others do not understand (a phenomenon called cryptophasia). In school, they will pace each other; if one multiple is moving slowly, the other will slow down to match her co-multiple's pace.
Using This Knowledge to Help Multiples
Preedy and Hay stress that knowing the type of attachment multiples have should influence how parents and educators support them in reaching their full potential as individuals. Preedy cautioned early childhood educators in particular, saying that it is "unconscious incompetence" when they fail to recognize and address the challenges faced by multiples in school.
How Parents Can Support Their Twins & Multiples
Preedy and Hay stress that one of the goals of raising and educating twins and multiples is for them to become independent thinkers. In a conference in 2003, Preedy provided four ways to assist multiples in learning to develop their individuality and think for themselves:
- When speaking with the child, make eye contact so she is aware that she is the focus.
- Do not let one of the children do most of the talking; ask questions of one of the multiples, and ensure that she is allowed to answer for herself.
- Get the child's attention by using his name before making a comment to him or asking him to do something.
- Play a game with the child to engage her in conversation; she will be more relaxed and able to express what she is thinking.
Multiples face unique challenges throughout their lives, but parents and educators can provide optimal support for these children by developing an awareness of the specifics of their attachment to one another. By being attuned to this attachment, parenting and educational styles can be used to create an environment that allows the individuality of each child to develop and flourish.
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